The Bookkeeper Betrayal

(Part 2 of 2) What happens when the rug is pulled out from under you by someone you trusted? Years ago there was a woman who did my bookkeeping and tax preparation. I'll call her Polly. After I left on Sabbatical to South America she took my money and ran. I was angry, vulnerable and betrayed. How could I forgive her? Even though I was teaching forgiveness in prisons and orphanages, It wasn't easy.

Bitterness was binding me to Polly. I was ruminating on her, thinking often of what she had done and the pain she caused me. Too many thoughts were focused on her. I was losing sleep and it was affecting my health and life negatively.

When I began the process of forgiveness (it was a process, not a one-time event) I began to focus on how God had forgiven my sins (Unlike Polly's offense which I felt strongly, the weight of my forgiven sins were not something I felt unless I focused attention on them). I began to develop compassion for Polly as someone who needed money so badly she needed to steal it. (Not a content person and unable to communicate a need)  I cancelled her debt to me. It was God's money and God could replace it. I had been relating to God as a God of scarcity and poverty, I began to see God as a God of abundance and provision. I used gratitude and appreciation to focus on what I had vs. what I lost. Over time the pain decreased and the extreme pain of the season went away. Forgiveness is a difficult but worthwhile process. 

 

What does Justice mean to God?

Forgiveness Illustrations by David Levy

Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Unsplash